England’s "Sunday Mirror" has finally published what insiders have known for
six weeks. Robert Plant said no to a Led Zeppelin reunion.
How could he do this? The touring industry needs Led Zeppelin, the fans are
Robert Plant employed the artist’s prerogative, which has not been seen in a
top level act, never mind a classic rock act, this century. While every
has-been known to man is touring at an inflated ticket price on a victory
lap that would make those in attendance cringe if they heard the tapes after
the fact, Robert Plant is saying let it be. To leave Led Zeppelin in the
seventies. When they wrote the book, when rock excess was married with music
critics pooh-poohed, but the little boys and girls understood it was the
shit, as their kids now believe also.
YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO SEE LED ZEPPELIN! It does not come with your DNA,
does not come with purchasing the tracks. You don’t get to do everything in
this life. Whether you made bread as a hedge funder or your parents indulged
your every whim. The O2 show was a one time event, even though no one
believed it. Not Jimmy Page, not John Paul Jones, not even ME!
You had to be there. That was the expression when Led Zeppelin ruled. You
had to awaken before dawn to line up to buy tickets. There was no DVD, what
you felt at the moment was all you got. A high you might remember forever.
Music wasn’t entertainment, it was life ITSELF! Not a single parent took his
kid to a Led Zeppelin show. There was none of the father/son bonding of
Stones shows today. Rock and roll isn’t family entertainment, it’s all about
sex and drugs. If you didn’t partake, YOU WANTED TO!
Led Zeppelin’s music was created in this hot house. Jimmy Page was not the
guy playing "Whole Lotta Love" at the New York Stock Exchange, rather he was
holed up in the Ryatt House allegedly dripping wax on little girls. Not that
that was the band’s only infraction. Can you imagine an act today toting
around the mud shark story? Have you even LISTENED to "Mothers Live At
Fillmore East"? There was a cult culture, which was not on AM, not on TMZ,
that only fans could be aware of, AND THEY WERE!
If you were too busy being safe and you missed Led Zeppelin in their ten
year run, you deserve the silence. If you’re a kid and you’re wetting your
still-attached diaper, I’m telling you I never got to see Babe Ruth. And
therefore his legacy looms even LARGER! Hell, Joe DiMaggio would show up at
Yankee Stadium, but he didn’t take center field and show us how much he’d
That’s what a Zeppelin tour would be like. It would taint our memories of
the seventies. Those hot chicks with their tits hanging out… They wouldn’t
be wearing tank tops. And they would be too heavy to sit atop their
boyfriends’ shoulders. Boyfriends with bad backs, pot bellies and no hair.
Sure, it’s not a crime getting old, but we don’t get to go back to high
school and we don’t get to see Led Zeppelin!
They had to change the key. Robert’s voice is different. This is no problem
if he’s singing new material with Alison Krauss, but you’re going to expect
"Stairway To Heaven" to be as good as the original, TRANSCENDENT! And do you
want him to sing shirtless again too? Mick Jagger prancing around in those
tiny outfits after working out ad infinitum is a joke. It makes you turn
your head. I won’t go to a Stones show. To think that I once thought they
were…the greatest rock and roll band in the world. Even though they were
uneven as hell. Now they’re a P.T. Barnum act. Yup, you’re a sucker if you
Robert Plant has not had plastic surgery. He grew up, can’t you?
Part of being a rock and roll fan is believing. But we haven’t been able to
believe in the acts in eons. They all make deals with corporations, they
won’t take a political position. Their handlers say not to hurt their
earning power, not to alienate potential ticket-buyers. These aren’t rock
and rollers, these are BUSINESSMEN! I can’t believe in THEM!
As for Jimmy Page? I guess it’s incumbent on him to find new players and
make NEW MUSIC! Instead of traipsing around the world living on fumes,
giving the people what they want. And they don’t want new Zeppelin music,
not of the quality of "Walking Into Clarksdale". Why tarnish the legacy?
Wasn’t "Coda" bad enough?
I expect sometime in the future the band will do another one-off. To honor
someone’s memory, probably not for a charitable cause, Zeppelin was never
charitable. This is fine by me. Every fifteen or twenty years is okay. Kind
of like a family or high school reunion. Only this time, I’M GONNA GO! Why
schlep all the way to London, spend thousands of dollars, when the band will
come to my hometown and I can DRIVE THERE? That’s the way it is with all
these acts. They create a buzz, they test the waters, then they say the
public demands they go on the road. No, they want to get paid. And all their
handlers say to do it, the agents and managers WANT THEIR PERCENTAGE!
For far too long, the tail has been wagging the dog. The businessmen have
held sway over the artists. Don’t lament that Robert Plant won’t reunite
with his bandmates as Led Zeppelin, cheer out loud, that there’s one Greek
God rock star left who isn’t beholden to the money, who’s not worried about
giving the public what IT wants, but is only concerned with what HE wants!