Alice Cooper, A Troubled Man For Troubled Times


LOS ANGELES (CelebrityAccess) — Rock legend Alice Cooper announced that he's throwing his hat into the political ring with a somewhat tongue in cheek campaign to be America's next president.

In a statement released to the press announcing his political ambitions Cooper says that he has a "platform that every voter can get behind. He is asking his fellow Americans, and all those around the world who are disillusioned with their leaders, to join 'The Wild Party.'

Cooper's campaign platform contains a number planks that would seem likely to win popular support from voters:

Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
A snake in every pot
No more pencils, no more books
Adding Lemmy to Mt Rushmore
Rename Big Ben "Big Lemmy"
Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
Peter Sellers on the $20 note
Cupholders required for every airplane seat
Ban on talking during movies in movie theaters
Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day

Unfortunately for Cooper, the deadline to be added to ballots in all 50 states passed several weeks ago, but undeterred by such minor details Cooper is using his 'campaign' to bolster the re-release of his 1972 hit "Elected."

Said Alice, "Why NOT me? I have t-shirts to sell."